Fic: 4:52 to LAX, Jared/ Jensen
Jun. 18th, 2008 05:47 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
under_hatchesTitle: 4:52 to LAX
Pairing: Jared/ Jensen, Steve
Rating/ Warnings: PG-13
Words: 4.660
"Hey, asshole, where are you?"
"On my way, what, you lonely?"
Jared huffed a little at that.
"Nah, but your roomie dropped by, muttered something about an emergency and keeled over."
"What?"
Okay, so maybe it hadn't exactly been like that, but Jared couldn't help but feel more than a little surprised in that not so pleasant way when Steve had showed up an hour ago at his door, pale and tired and hardly able to string more than two words together. He had not really been able to explain, just asked where Jensen was, if he was around, mumbling about an emergency and that he got the address from Jensen, just in case. Jared had let Steve in, sat him on the couch and made coffee while watching Steve's reaction to the dogs saying hi.
He shouldn't probably judge people by the way they first reacted to Harley and Sadie, but it had worked well as a first indicator before, and so he kept doing it. Steve had leaned back into the cushions, eyes already half closed, a tired smile on his lips when Sadie had started to nudge his hand. He had looked almost sad when he had gently padded Sadie's head before letting his hand fall against his side again. And Jared had known part of him being not his usual friendly self had to do with the disappointment that it hadn’t been Jensen at the door, and part with that sinking feeling that Steve had come up all the way from LA to see Jensen. He had placed a cup of coffee in front of Steve, managing a smile when the other man had looked up.
Jared had called Jensen then, more out of desperation than anything else, and wow, that was a weird thing to think, but there it was and what else was he to do. He couldn’t help the weird curling he had felt in his stomach then, like sinking and knotting at the same time, and boy, did he not want to think about what that could mean. Jensen promised to be right over, maybe twenty minutes, the most. Jared hung up and looked at Steve again. Who looked miserable and ready to fall over.
"You don't need coffee, you need sleep," Jared then stated, his caring streak kicking in or whatever, hauling Steve up to his feet again and guiding him to the bedroom. He couldn’t leave the poor guy like this, not even for twenty minutes.
"Shoes off, I don't care about anything else, just climb in, okay?" Jared wasn't even sure Steve had heard him, let alone processed what Jared had said.
"It's okay," he said when he saw the reluctance in Steve's tense shoulders, the locked knees. “You can wait here until Jensen comes.” Home, he wanted to add.
Jared expected him to protest, but then Steve moved, stepping out of his sneakers without undoing the laces, shrugging out of his shirt and jeans, and climbed unto the bed and under the covers. The dogs stood in the doorway sniffing the air, and Sadie crept closer, always following the trail of affection. Jared rolled his eyes.
"No, you guys, out."
"Don't mind," Steve mumbled, heavy with sleep.
"Wait until Harley crushes you with his love," Jared said, smiling.
Steve waved his hand around and rolled onto his stomach, burying his face in the pillow. Jared wasn't sure what the gesture meant, but he left the door open an inch so the dogs could nudge it fully open if they wanted. Steve was probably too tired to mind anyway, and Jared was already thinking about the conversation he'd have once Jensen arrived, about omitting certain bits of information, such as Steve's place in Jensen's life and if he really was just a roomie and not. Jared did not want to go there. He stopped the conversation in his head before the Jensen in his mind could confirm anything Jared did not want confirmed.
It was the way Steve had looked when Jared had opened the door, a little disappointed and a little hopeful, the way he had asked about Jensen, stuttering just so. Is, is Jensen here? Jared had been able to feel the need coming off Steve like waves. And suddenly there had been this what if. It was stupid, and it was not like Jared had ever actually seriously flirted anyway, not while being in this state of not really knowing anyway, but there have been these touches and sometimes Jensen had looked at him that way when he had thought Jared would not notice.
When he heard the key in the front door, the key he had given Jensen months ago, he hurried to meet him.
"Hey," Jensen said, "Where is he? Is he alright?"
"We need to talk."
Jensen paused a little at that, shrugging out of his jacket and hanging it on one of the hangers near the door (the one furthest to the right, as always, as if he intended to stay).
"Did he do anything?"
"He's sleeping. Jen, can I ask you something?"
Jared knew he should probably let his brain catch up with his mouth before asking anything, especially if it was about the correspondence he had had in his head, but somehow his brain was not even fast enough for that right now. So when Jensen gave him that little shrug that said sure, he blurted out:
"You're not... I mean, you're just... roomies, right?"
Jensen stared at him blankly.
"You see him for, what? twenty minutes, and have a crush on him already? I'm hurt, Jared."
"No, not on him, you idiot."
And yes, that was one of those times Jared actually minded lacking a filter between his brain and his mouth, because good god. Screwed, anyone? Jensen laughed under his breath.
"Let's just say his current relationship can be kinda complicated sometimes and we’re very good friends, and yes, room mates, and I told him he could show up whenever, no questions asked. And since I love being with you, even though you're as stupid as a rock, I gave him your address as well. I figured you wouldn't mind much, but I didn't think he'd show up anyway. I would have told you if I knew you'd freak, though."
And Jensen eyed him, making sure Jared wasn't really freaking, and Jared just breathed and tried not to freak about this.
"So," Jared said.
"Yeah," Jensen answered, scratching his neck. "Is he good?"
"Sleeping. Was dead on his feet."
Jensen nodded, looking weary of a sudden.
"There's coffee," Jared said, already turning to get Jensen a cup. And he probably should say more, something about relief maybe, something about things being chances instead of challenges or maybe being both, and what the fuck did that even mean, but Jensen followed him into the kitchen and Jared was listening to the soft pad pad of sock clad feet and wasn’t feeling like being ominous.
"Do you mind him here?"
"No, Sadie likes him," Jared mumbled. As if that explained everything. But maybe it did, because Jensen gave a short laugh and touched his arm for a little longer than a friendly pat should last before accepted the cup Jared handed him. He took a few sips, and Jared could almost listen to the thoughts in Jensen’s head. He grinned at that, and Jensen looked at him, smiling back a little crooked smile he seemed to have reserved for Jared and situations like these. But mostly for Jared.
“Would you mind letting him have the guest bed?”
“No,” Jared answered without hesitation, because he didn’t mind until another thought crossed his mind. He frowned. “Where will you sleep then?”
Don’t say the trailer, please.
“Guess we’ll figure something out,” Jensen smiled.
And Jared finally got it and smiled back.
“I’ll go and have a look at our visitor,” Jensen said, pushing his half empty cup into Jared’s hands.
Jared did try not to snoop, but he still stood outside his bedroom, listening to the quiet voices, the sniffling, the pauses in their conversation that were just long enough to be hugs.
When Jensen came back out, he looked tired, rubbing his eyes and swearing at his contacts.
“Do I still have…”
“In the bathroom, yeah.”
And Jared smiled, because it was always like that; no need to end sentences with the other one around. He knew he stared long enough to memorize this moment, Jensen’s flushed face, the way he smiled while still rubbing his eyes, the intake of breath before saying something, the abashed smile when he didn’t. Jared’s grin widened.
“Uh, sorry ‘bout hogging the bed...”
They both turned to see a very tousled, very bleary eyed Steve, still only in boxers and t-shirt. He was rubbing his eyes too, digging the heel of his left hand into them repeatedly. The dogs immediately went up to him, looking at him expectantly, especially Sadie. Steve reached out almost automatically, touching her gently, padding her back, before doing the same with Harley.
“Don’t worry, man,” Jared said gently. “If we can just relocate you to the guest room?”
“I don’t want to…”
“It’s not a bother, Steve. You’re not, alright,” Jensen said, and Jared felt himself nodding.
Steve looked beaten and still tired, not only from the trip itself, and Jared could have kicked himself mentally for even having had these thoughts, because now it was so obvious.
“I can go and get a hotel room,” Steve said, not really looking at Jared.
“You can stay,” Jared said,” Seriously.”
And he meant it. Jensen was standing very close to him, and why didn’t Jared notice before?
II.
The third night, Steve got drunk and Jensen wasn’t home yet, so Jared thought he’d temporarily provide the proverbial shoulder to lean on and maybe even gently poke the guy about some things he could not poke Jensen about. He sat down next to Steve on the couch, giving him a friendly shove.
“You know, I know I’m the cook, kinda, but he could have picked up something by now, and the only thing he ever makes for me is eggs.”
Uh, yeah. That’s something he could work with. Not. Jared rubbed his face.
“Who?” Jared asked, knowing that this was probably Mr. Mystery Guy, heartbreaker extraordinaire, and not Jensen. Though Jensen didn’t really cook either. “Wait, you’re with a guy?”
And wow, that was stupid, but Jared remembered the most recent stories being about girls, and those were stories Jensen told and he had to know. So Jared had assumed it was about some girl.
“At least he remembers how I like them. Never gets them wrong, sometimes brings them to the bed as well.” And Steve actually smiled at that, shot glass half raised to his lips.
“And how do you like them?” Keeping the conversation going until Jensen arrived sounded like a good plan B. Especially with that face Steve was pulling right now, smack between tears and laughter.
“Sunny side down,” Steve said, downing his shot and reaching for the bottle.
“Are you… is this because of some guy?” Jared motioned with his hand, and Steve stared and then blinked.
Oh, please, please, don’t let him be an emotional drunk, please.
“Yeah, it is,” Steve answered.
And Steve sniffled at that, so Jared confiscated the bottle.
“How bout I make some coffee, mm?” he said gently, feeling a little at a loss. He rolled his eyes at himself, wondering since when coffee was his answer for everything.
“Yeah,” Steve said, eyes fixed on the carpet.
“Jensen will be here soon,” Jared said. Wow, his conversational skills were shot too. He told himself that it was because he barely knew the guy, but really, what was he to say about a relationship he didn’t know anything about? It could be anything, and he definitely did not want to guess and upset Steve further. He padded Steve on the shoulder awkwardly, meaning to get up, but Steve twisted a hand in Jared’s shirt, and all Jared managed was a huh? before Steve wrapped both his arms firmly around Jared’s middle and held on. And this was something he should be able to do, comforting someone, because he kind of had done that with Jensen before, just not when it was about heartbreak. And Steve’s grief was quiet, without tears or tantrum, just this desperate hold of Jared, the shuttering intake of breath. Jared was stunned, looking down at Steve who hid his face against Jared’s chest, just holding on, breathing as if that was painful in itself. And Jared caught himself reaching out and stuttering nonsense, it will all be fine, I’m sure, it will all be fine, rubbing lazy circles on Steve’s back and maybe it was the low murmur of his voice or maybe the alcohol kicked in, but Steve’s hiccupping breathing eased out.
When Jensen came home, Jared watched him he kicking off his shoes and hanging up his jacket on the hanger on the far right, before stopping when he finally saw Jared on the sofa.
“Did you wait?”
Jared put a finger to his lips.
“Shh. Can you…”
Only then Jensen saw Steve lying curled up mostly on top of Jared.
“What the…”
“He found your tequila stash,” Jared whispered and then grinned.
“Aw, no.”
“Oh, yes. And I need to pee for like an hour, so let’s move this dead weight, alright?”
Jensen stood and stared for a second.
“Maybe you could take his arms? I’ll take the legs then.”
Arms were easier for Jared, as Steve still had them mostly wrapped around Jared anyway. He gently pulled the one around his waist loose, turning Steve around until he had a secure hold on him. And Steve was really dead to the world right now, only stirring a bit.
“You want to carry him?”
Jared gave him a short glare, his lips a set line, and willed Jensen to go along with this. Jensen rolled his eyes.
“Yeah, okay,” Jensen then said just like Jared knew he would. “Or you could have him in that Firemen’s carry, over your shoulder…”
Jared only glared again, really not seeing the part that made this all so fucking funny. He felt the corners of his mouth twitch. Maybe it was a little funny after all.
“We could leave him here,” Jensen suggested.
“You want to play Halo later on? Or Madden? Huh?”
“Alright, alright.” Jensen huffed, not willing to give up their evening plans either. It was a little weird how predictable Jensen had become, and Jared not only anticipated the second huff, but also the raised eyebrow when Jensen finally grabbed Steve’s legs at the knees, and Jared did not move right away but was too busy staring at Jensen.
“What?”
“Nothing.”
“Nothing, my ass. Let’s move.”
Jensen grinned while they carried Steve into the guest room. They were almost at the bed when Jensen let out a laugh, almost dropping Steve in the process.
“What,” Jared whispered testily. Again with the glaring that seemed to be wasted on Jensen.
“Nothing, nothing,” Jensen wheezed, “It’s just. That image. Too cute.”
“Oh ha-ha, the roomie fell asleep on me or the Fireman’s carry that didn’t happen?”
Jared only got silent laughter in reply, as Jensen tried very hard not to make any sound. If he kept it up like this, he’d work himself into a hiccup and that hadn’t been pretty the first time around.
“I’m so glad you’re amused. Because I only know so much about the guy and really.”
Jensen calmed down, and was only grinning now, eyes glittering with tears and skin flushed. They got Steve in the bed and Jensen pulled the covers up. Only then did Steve blink at them, not even half awake.
“Go to sleep,” Jared said, and Steve amazingly did.
They both tiptoed out of the room, and Jensen closed the door behind them.
“Nah, I know. Sorry,” Jensen said. “That was sweet of you. He sometimes sleeps better with someone around, you know.”
“And you know that because…”
“Hey, jealous?”
“Noo.”
“Aw, you’re jealous.”
“Am not.”
“Are too.”
“I sleep better too,” Jared said, just to shut Jensen up. And he did.
III.
When Jared woke up the next morning, he had to untangle himself from Jensen, who so did not understand the concept of your side/ my side. Jensen groaned sleepily.
“S not morning,” he mumbled in denial before turning over and burrowing his head under Jared’s pillow.
Jared grinned and sneaked out of the room. He thought he heard the coffee maker, and went into the kitchen, where he found Steve pouring juice into glasses.
“Hey,” Jared said. Steve looked startled.
“Uh, hi. I didn’t think you’d be awake already.”
“Are you making breakfast?”
Steve laughed at that, low and under his breath.
“Yeah, for you and Jensen. I thought…”
“Awesome.”
Steve smiled at that, easy and somewhat relaxed.
“It’s my apology for crashing here like that,” he then offered, holding up the carton of eggs, raising an eyebrow.
“Sunny side down,” Jared replied smiling. Steve laughed a little before he nodded. He put four eggs aside, getting the salt and pepper, holding both up for Jared to approve, putting the pepper back again. He smiled while he cracked the eggs into the pan.
“So,” Steve said once the eggs were frying in the pan, “How long…” He motioned with his hand, drawing slow circles while looking at Jared.
”Oh, we’re not…” Jared could feel the heat rising in his cheeks.
“Yeah, right.”
“No, seriously.”
Steve paused at that, looked at Jared and brought his attention back to the pan.
“For how long have you been in love then?” he asked with his back still towards Jared.
Jared gaped a little, glad that Steve couldn’t see, and shut his mouth again. He slid onto one of the stools, trying to remember what might have given him away. There was nothing standing out, nothing different from how he usually treated Jensen.
“For a while,” he confessed.
He expected more questions, but Steve merely nodded, flipped the eggs, and turned to look at him again.
“Want coffee? I made a pot. Wasn’t sure…” And he drifted off, staring into space.
“Yeah, coffee would be great.”
“Will you tell him?”
“About breakfast?”
Steve laughed again. “That too.”
“Don’t know.”
“You should. Makes things easier,” Steve said and turned again, this time for his own benefit.
“Have you two ever hooked up?”
Jared watched Steve almost swirl around at that, eyes wide.
“What? Me and Jensen?”
Jared nodded, suddenly sheepish, but somewhat glad he got it out.
“Hell, no. Boy’s way too pretty for me.” Steve looked offended, before smirking. “You two are a much better match.”
“Who’s a better match?”
“You and Chris. Sit down, nosy bastard,” Steve said, not even missing a beat.
Jared stared into his coffee, heat rising in his cheeks again.
“Ugh, like hell,” Jensen complained and Jared glanced up just in time to see Jensen pull a face. “Wait, better match than who?”
“Whom,” Steve corrected quietly. Jensen rolled his eyes.
“So?” he looked from Steve to Jared who still pretended that his coffee was fascinating.
“Let it go,” Steve said with a little huff and slump of shoulder, shutting Jensen up. And maybe it wasn’t fair that Steve played the heartbroken card but right now Jared was glad for it.
IV.
They all sat together on the couch, Jared sandwiched between Jensen and Steve, who merely watched them play Madden and listened to their banter with a soft smile, even though they did offer to let him play too. Steve had waved at that, shook his head for emphasis and leaned back. He seemed content, Jared thought, so he focussed on kicking Jensen’s ass. This was nice, he thought.
They had ordered pizza before, arguing over the toppings until finally getting two pizzas. Jensen had joked that Jared would end up eating one and a half anyway and Jared had slapped Jensen upside the head in mock annoyance. When the pizza arrived, Jared ate one and the two pieces neither Jensen nor Steve wanted. He also was on a winning streak and Steve was whooping for him until Jensen turned around and asked whose fucking side he was on and who was the friend Steve knew for more than a couple of days and hence the better friend.
Jared grinned as they mock shouted about dishes not done, Steve’s natural avoidance of cleaning with bleach, Jensen’s inability to get certain stains out of laundry and Jared did not dare ask what stains, whereas Steve was the laundry God, and general mayhem at their house when they actually lived there together. They finally settled again before Jensen picked another mock fight about the game, this time with Jared, who wasn’t as good at mock fighting because he couldn’t keep a straight face.
Somewhere around their third or fourth beer, Steve’s mobile started ringing.
“Dude, you have a Kane song as your ring tone?” Jensen pulled a face. “That’s just bad taste, man.”
“Shut up,” Steve said, laughing through the buzz of the alcohol and digging for his phone, fumbling because Jared leaned over until he squished Steve against the backrest and would not give him any room.
“Dude, you’re worse than Harley,” Steve gasped and Jared laughed.
“Seriously, a Kane song?” Jensen complained from the other end of the couch.
“I said, shut up, Jensen.” Steve finally managed to get the cell out of his pocket. He stared at the caller ID, laughter suddenly gone.
“What,” Jared said and sat back.
Steve only raised a hand, answering the call and standing up unsteadily. He walked a few steps, and Jensen put the TV on mute.
“What,” Jared said again, this time asking Jensen, who looked spooked.
“We should give him some space,” Jensen said and Jared nodded.
They went out into the yard, careful as not to slam the backdoor, taking the dogs along. Jared watched them play around for a while until he felt Jensen’s hand on his arm. He looked skywards, took a breath and reached for that hand, intertwining their fingers. He did not dare to look at Jensen now, just continued to look at the night sky, the stars. And this was nice, too, even better than having Jensen close on the couch with Steve around, because this was different.
“Jared?”
Jensen had not pulled away, Jared realized, and that was good, right? And he felt more than a little stupid, but right now that didn’t matter.
When he turned to look at Jensen, he found Jensen staring back at him, with that little smile. Jensen gave his hand a tug, and Jared leaned down a bit, waiting for Jensen to say something. And Jensen laughed a little, before leaning up and kissing him on the mouth. Just like that, like they had done that a million times before, standing outside, looking at the stars and kissing. Like it was nothing out of the ordinary, nothing that should made Jared’s head spin. And even though they hadn’t done this before, couldn’t have, even though the feeling of Jensen’s lips was new against his own, Jared felt as if this should be familiar after all despite the thrill. He broke the kiss, looked at Jensen and then kissed him again. Just to see if he could do it again, if it still was easy and soft and nice. It was. It felt like they should have been doing this all along. And Jensen laughed against his lips, breathless and sounding happy, so Jared wrapped his arms around him, pulling him close.
“We should get back in,” Jensen said, not moving a muscle.
“Yeah.” Jared hated to break the contact, but Jensen pulled him in for another kiss and he knew it wasn’t going to be their last, so where was the rush? He smiled at Jensen, pulling him towards the door.
Steve was on the couch again, the mobile on the coffee table. He did not quite manage to replace the look he had when Jared came in, plastering on a smile that was too toothy and did not reach his eyes.
“How bout I trade you that god awful ring tone against a decent one,” Jared said.
Jared ended up trading Spirit Boy against Bubbly, which seemed poetic in its brilliance or maybe just to their drunken minds, but Steve actually giggled about it and Jared was pleased as punch at that. Jensen laughed too, settling in against Jared as close as he could. Jared ended up assigning the traded tone to Jensen’s number, just to piss him off.
V.
“You’re leaving?”
Jared wasn’t able to hide his surprise when Steve told him.
“Man, I’ve been here for almost a week now, and you boys need some room,” Steve smirked a little.
And yes, a little space would be nice, because their kisses turned from nice to needy in no time and both felt a certain reluctance to let it go further with Steve around, hell, with Steve in the next room, but still, it was not like Jared wanted to actually tell him, not like he actually minded him. And he definitely did not want to throw him out.
“Yeah, but I will miss our breakfast talks.”
“I think you’ll manage without. Did you tell him?”
Jared shook his head. Whether to the question or the statement, he did not know. He tried to find another sentence, preferably starting with “but,” yet none came. Steve looked at him, head slightly to the right, waiting. Jared pulled him into a hug.
“I will miss you too,” Steve said quietly against his chest, “Thanks, man.”
Steve padded him on the back and there were things Jared wanted to say. About the little shoves into the right direction, into any direction, now that he thought about it. About the way things cleared up. But he knew Steve would wave it off as if it would have happened nevertheless, even without him. Which wasn’t true.
“You need anything, you call, right?” Jared finally said and released him.
Steve nodded, bending down to pad the dogs. Straightening up again, he looked Jared in the eyes.
“Be good to Jensen,” Steve said grinning, “Tell him. It’s good to hear.”
“Yeah, as soon as you release him from cab duty and he’s back from the airport.”
Jensen came in then, looking at them.
“What? Airport? Don’t tell me you’re leaving.” Jensen let out an undignified squeak when Steve nodded. “No way, man.”
“Flight’s in three. I tried to persuade him, Jen,” Jared said.
They stood around with their arms at their sides. Jared wanted to break the silence but didn’t know how. Jensen finally hugged Steve tight. Words were not needed right now anyway.
“We better get going,” Jensen said reluctantly.
They all mumbled good byes, promises of keeping in touch. There was no need for packing as Steve had already stuffed everything he brought into his small backpack. Jared went up to the door, waving even though they didn’t even make it to the car yet and trying to keep the dogs inside who wanted to see what was going on and were currently gently whining and pressing against his legs. Jensen turned and came back to the door, to Jared.
“Forgot something?”
Jensen leaned in and kissed Jared lightly.
“Didn’t say properly good bye to you.”
“You’re an ass. You’ll be back in an hour, sappy fuck.”
“Still.”
“I love you.”
Jensen blinked at that before grinning. It was so much easier than Jared had imagined and the result was beautiful. He grinned and waved over to Steve, who waved back.
“See you in an hour,” Jared said.
He waited until the car was out of sight before getting back inside.
Pairing: Jared/ Jensen, Steve
Rating/ Warnings: PG-13
Words: 4.660
"Hey, asshole, where are you?"
"On my way, what, you lonely?"
Jared huffed a little at that.
"Nah, but your roomie dropped by, muttered something about an emergency and keeled over."
"What?"
Okay, so maybe it hadn't exactly been like that, but Jared couldn't help but feel more than a little surprised in that not so pleasant way when Steve had showed up an hour ago at his door, pale and tired and hardly able to string more than two words together. He had not really been able to explain, just asked where Jensen was, if he was around, mumbling about an emergency and that he got the address from Jensen, just in case. Jared had let Steve in, sat him on the couch and made coffee while watching Steve's reaction to the dogs saying hi.
He shouldn't probably judge people by the way they first reacted to Harley and Sadie, but it had worked well as a first indicator before, and so he kept doing it. Steve had leaned back into the cushions, eyes already half closed, a tired smile on his lips when Sadie had started to nudge his hand. He had looked almost sad when he had gently padded Sadie's head before letting his hand fall against his side again. And Jared had known part of him being not his usual friendly self had to do with the disappointment that it hadn’t been Jensen at the door, and part with that sinking feeling that Steve had come up all the way from LA to see Jensen. He had placed a cup of coffee in front of Steve, managing a smile when the other man had looked up.
Jared had called Jensen then, more out of desperation than anything else, and wow, that was a weird thing to think, but there it was and what else was he to do. He couldn’t help the weird curling he had felt in his stomach then, like sinking and knotting at the same time, and boy, did he not want to think about what that could mean. Jensen promised to be right over, maybe twenty minutes, the most. Jared hung up and looked at Steve again. Who looked miserable and ready to fall over.
"You don't need coffee, you need sleep," Jared then stated, his caring streak kicking in or whatever, hauling Steve up to his feet again and guiding him to the bedroom. He couldn’t leave the poor guy like this, not even for twenty minutes.
"Shoes off, I don't care about anything else, just climb in, okay?" Jared wasn't even sure Steve had heard him, let alone processed what Jared had said.
"It's okay," he said when he saw the reluctance in Steve's tense shoulders, the locked knees. “You can wait here until Jensen comes.” Home, he wanted to add.
Jared expected him to protest, but then Steve moved, stepping out of his sneakers without undoing the laces, shrugging out of his shirt and jeans, and climbed unto the bed and under the covers. The dogs stood in the doorway sniffing the air, and Sadie crept closer, always following the trail of affection. Jared rolled his eyes.
"No, you guys, out."
"Don't mind," Steve mumbled, heavy with sleep.
"Wait until Harley crushes you with his love," Jared said, smiling.
Steve waved his hand around and rolled onto his stomach, burying his face in the pillow. Jared wasn't sure what the gesture meant, but he left the door open an inch so the dogs could nudge it fully open if they wanted. Steve was probably too tired to mind anyway, and Jared was already thinking about the conversation he'd have once Jensen arrived, about omitting certain bits of information, such as Steve's place in Jensen's life and if he really was just a roomie and not. Jared did not want to go there. He stopped the conversation in his head before the Jensen in his mind could confirm anything Jared did not want confirmed.
It was the way Steve had looked when Jared had opened the door, a little disappointed and a little hopeful, the way he had asked about Jensen, stuttering just so. Is, is Jensen here? Jared had been able to feel the need coming off Steve like waves. And suddenly there had been this what if. It was stupid, and it was not like Jared had ever actually seriously flirted anyway, not while being in this state of not really knowing anyway, but there have been these touches and sometimes Jensen had looked at him that way when he had thought Jared would not notice.
When he heard the key in the front door, the key he had given Jensen months ago, he hurried to meet him.
"Hey," Jensen said, "Where is he? Is he alright?"
"We need to talk."
Jensen paused a little at that, shrugging out of his jacket and hanging it on one of the hangers near the door (the one furthest to the right, as always, as if he intended to stay).
"Did he do anything?"
"He's sleeping. Jen, can I ask you something?"
Jared knew he should probably let his brain catch up with his mouth before asking anything, especially if it was about the correspondence he had had in his head, but somehow his brain was not even fast enough for that right now. So when Jensen gave him that little shrug that said sure, he blurted out:
"You're not... I mean, you're just... roomies, right?"
Jensen stared at him blankly.
"You see him for, what? twenty minutes, and have a crush on him already? I'm hurt, Jared."
"No, not on him, you idiot."
And yes, that was one of those times Jared actually minded lacking a filter between his brain and his mouth, because good god. Screwed, anyone? Jensen laughed under his breath.
"Let's just say his current relationship can be kinda complicated sometimes and we’re very good friends, and yes, room mates, and I told him he could show up whenever, no questions asked. And since I love being with you, even though you're as stupid as a rock, I gave him your address as well. I figured you wouldn't mind much, but I didn't think he'd show up anyway. I would have told you if I knew you'd freak, though."
And Jensen eyed him, making sure Jared wasn't really freaking, and Jared just breathed and tried not to freak about this.
"So," Jared said.
"Yeah," Jensen answered, scratching his neck. "Is he good?"
"Sleeping. Was dead on his feet."
Jensen nodded, looking weary of a sudden.
"There's coffee," Jared said, already turning to get Jensen a cup. And he probably should say more, something about relief maybe, something about things being chances instead of challenges or maybe being both, and what the fuck did that even mean, but Jensen followed him into the kitchen and Jared was listening to the soft pad pad of sock clad feet and wasn’t feeling like being ominous.
"Do you mind him here?"
"No, Sadie likes him," Jared mumbled. As if that explained everything. But maybe it did, because Jensen gave a short laugh and touched his arm for a little longer than a friendly pat should last before accepted the cup Jared handed him. He took a few sips, and Jared could almost listen to the thoughts in Jensen’s head. He grinned at that, and Jensen looked at him, smiling back a little crooked smile he seemed to have reserved for Jared and situations like these. But mostly for Jared.
“Would you mind letting him have the guest bed?”
“No,” Jared answered without hesitation, because he didn’t mind until another thought crossed his mind. He frowned. “Where will you sleep then?”
Don’t say the trailer, please.
“Guess we’ll figure something out,” Jensen smiled.
And Jared finally got it and smiled back.
“I’ll go and have a look at our visitor,” Jensen said, pushing his half empty cup into Jared’s hands.
Jared did try not to snoop, but he still stood outside his bedroom, listening to the quiet voices, the sniffling, the pauses in their conversation that were just long enough to be hugs.
When Jensen came back out, he looked tired, rubbing his eyes and swearing at his contacts.
“Do I still have…”
“In the bathroom, yeah.”
And Jared smiled, because it was always like that; no need to end sentences with the other one around. He knew he stared long enough to memorize this moment, Jensen’s flushed face, the way he smiled while still rubbing his eyes, the intake of breath before saying something, the abashed smile when he didn’t. Jared’s grin widened.
“Uh, sorry ‘bout hogging the bed...”
They both turned to see a very tousled, very bleary eyed Steve, still only in boxers and t-shirt. He was rubbing his eyes too, digging the heel of his left hand into them repeatedly. The dogs immediately went up to him, looking at him expectantly, especially Sadie. Steve reached out almost automatically, touching her gently, padding her back, before doing the same with Harley.
“Don’t worry, man,” Jared said gently. “If we can just relocate you to the guest room?”
“I don’t want to…”
“It’s not a bother, Steve. You’re not, alright,” Jensen said, and Jared felt himself nodding.
Steve looked beaten and still tired, not only from the trip itself, and Jared could have kicked himself mentally for even having had these thoughts, because now it was so obvious.
“I can go and get a hotel room,” Steve said, not really looking at Jared.
“You can stay,” Jared said,” Seriously.”
And he meant it. Jensen was standing very close to him, and why didn’t Jared notice before?
II.
The third night, Steve got drunk and Jensen wasn’t home yet, so Jared thought he’d temporarily provide the proverbial shoulder to lean on and maybe even gently poke the guy about some things he could not poke Jensen about. He sat down next to Steve on the couch, giving him a friendly shove.
“You know, I know I’m the cook, kinda, but he could have picked up something by now, and the only thing he ever makes for me is eggs.”
Uh, yeah. That’s something he could work with. Not. Jared rubbed his face.
“Who?” Jared asked, knowing that this was probably Mr. Mystery Guy, heartbreaker extraordinaire, and not Jensen. Though Jensen didn’t really cook either. “Wait, you’re with a guy?”
And wow, that was stupid, but Jared remembered the most recent stories being about girls, and those were stories Jensen told and he had to know. So Jared had assumed it was about some girl.
“At least he remembers how I like them. Never gets them wrong, sometimes brings them to the bed as well.” And Steve actually smiled at that, shot glass half raised to his lips.
“And how do you like them?” Keeping the conversation going until Jensen arrived sounded like a good plan B. Especially with that face Steve was pulling right now, smack between tears and laughter.
“Sunny side down,” Steve said, downing his shot and reaching for the bottle.
“Are you… is this because of some guy?” Jared motioned with his hand, and Steve stared and then blinked.
Oh, please, please, don’t let him be an emotional drunk, please.
“Yeah, it is,” Steve answered.
And Steve sniffled at that, so Jared confiscated the bottle.
“How bout I make some coffee, mm?” he said gently, feeling a little at a loss. He rolled his eyes at himself, wondering since when coffee was his answer for everything.
“Yeah,” Steve said, eyes fixed on the carpet.
“Jensen will be here soon,” Jared said. Wow, his conversational skills were shot too. He told himself that it was because he barely knew the guy, but really, what was he to say about a relationship he didn’t know anything about? It could be anything, and he definitely did not want to guess and upset Steve further. He padded Steve on the shoulder awkwardly, meaning to get up, but Steve twisted a hand in Jared’s shirt, and all Jared managed was a huh? before Steve wrapped both his arms firmly around Jared’s middle and held on. And this was something he should be able to do, comforting someone, because he kind of had done that with Jensen before, just not when it was about heartbreak. And Steve’s grief was quiet, without tears or tantrum, just this desperate hold of Jared, the shuttering intake of breath. Jared was stunned, looking down at Steve who hid his face against Jared’s chest, just holding on, breathing as if that was painful in itself. And Jared caught himself reaching out and stuttering nonsense, it will all be fine, I’m sure, it will all be fine, rubbing lazy circles on Steve’s back and maybe it was the low murmur of his voice or maybe the alcohol kicked in, but Steve’s hiccupping breathing eased out.
When Jensen came home, Jared watched him he kicking off his shoes and hanging up his jacket on the hanger on the far right, before stopping when he finally saw Jared on the sofa.
“Did you wait?”
Jared put a finger to his lips.
“Shh. Can you…”
Only then Jensen saw Steve lying curled up mostly on top of Jared.
“What the…”
“He found your tequila stash,” Jared whispered and then grinned.
“Aw, no.”
“Oh, yes. And I need to pee for like an hour, so let’s move this dead weight, alright?”
Jensen stood and stared for a second.
“Maybe you could take his arms? I’ll take the legs then.”
Arms were easier for Jared, as Steve still had them mostly wrapped around Jared anyway. He gently pulled the one around his waist loose, turning Steve around until he had a secure hold on him. And Steve was really dead to the world right now, only stirring a bit.
“You want to carry him?”
Jared gave him a short glare, his lips a set line, and willed Jensen to go along with this. Jensen rolled his eyes.
“Yeah, okay,” Jensen then said just like Jared knew he would. “Or you could have him in that Firemen’s carry, over your shoulder…”
Jared only glared again, really not seeing the part that made this all so fucking funny. He felt the corners of his mouth twitch. Maybe it was a little funny after all.
“We could leave him here,” Jensen suggested.
“You want to play Halo later on? Or Madden? Huh?”
“Alright, alright.” Jensen huffed, not willing to give up their evening plans either. It was a little weird how predictable Jensen had become, and Jared not only anticipated the second huff, but also the raised eyebrow when Jensen finally grabbed Steve’s legs at the knees, and Jared did not move right away but was too busy staring at Jensen.
“What?”
“Nothing.”
“Nothing, my ass. Let’s move.”
Jensen grinned while they carried Steve into the guest room. They were almost at the bed when Jensen let out a laugh, almost dropping Steve in the process.
“What,” Jared whispered testily. Again with the glaring that seemed to be wasted on Jensen.
“Nothing, nothing,” Jensen wheezed, “It’s just. That image. Too cute.”
“Oh ha-ha, the roomie fell asleep on me or the Fireman’s carry that didn’t happen?”
Jared only got silent laughter in reply, as Jensen tried very hard not to make any sound. If he kept it up like this, he’d work himself into a hiccup and that hadn’t been pretty the first time around.
“I’m so glad you’re amused. Because I only know so much about the guy and really.”
Jensen calmed down, and was only grinning now, eyes glittering with tears and skin flushed. They got Steve in the bed and Jensen pulled the covers up. Only then did Steve blink at them, not even half awake.
“Go to sleep,” Jared said, and Steve amazingly did.
They both tiptoed out of the room, and Jensen closed the door behind them.
“Nah, I know. Sorry,” Jensen said. “That was sweet of you. He sometimes sleeps better with someone around, you know.”
“And you know that because…”
“Hey, jealous?”
“Noo.”
“Aw, you’re jealous.”
“Am not.”
“Are too.”
“I sleep better too,” Jared said, just to shut Jensen up. And he did.
III.
When Jared woke up the next morning, he had to untangle himself from Jensen, who so did not understand the concept of your side/ my side. Jensen groaned sleepily.
“S not morning,” he mumbled in denial before turning over and burrowing his head under Jared’s pillow.
Jared grinned and sneaked out of the room. He thought he heard the coffee maker, and went into the kitchen, where he found Steve pouring juice into glasses.
“Hey,” Jared said. Steve looked startled.
“Uh, hi. I didn’t think you’d be awake already.”
“Are you making breakfast?”
Steve laughed at that, low and under his breath.
“Yeah, for you and Jensen. I thought…”
“Awesome.”
Steve smiled at that, easy and somewhat relaxed.
“It’s my apology for crashing here like that,” he then offered, holding up the carton of eggs, raising an eyebrow.
“Sunny side down,” Jared replied smiling. Steve laughed a little before he nodded. He put four eggs aside, getting the salt and pepper, holding both up for Jared to approve, putting the pepper back again. He smiled while he cracked the eggs into the pan.
“So,” Steve said once the eggs were frying in the pan, “How long…” He motioned with his hand, drawing slow circles while looking at Jared.
”Oh, we’re not…” Jared could feel the heat rising in his cheeks.
“Yeah, right.”
“No, seriously.”
Steve paused at that, looked at Jared and brought his attention back to the pan.
“For how long have you been in love then?” he asked with his back still towards Jared.
Jared gaped a little, glad that Steve couldn’t see, and shut his mouth again. He slid onto one of the stools, trying to remember what might have given him away. There was nothing standing out, nothing different from how he usually treated Jensen.
“For a while,” he confessed.
He expected more questions, but Steve merely nodded, flipped the eggs, and turned to look at him again.
“Want coffee? I made a pot. Wasn’t sure…” And he drifted off, staring into space.
“Yeah, coffee would be great.”
“Will you tell him?”
“About breakfast?”
Steve laughed again. “That too.”
“Don’t know.”
“You should. Makes things easier,” Steve said and turned again, this time for his own benefit.
“Have you two ever hooked up?”
Jared watched Steve almost swirl around at that, eyes wide.
“What? Me and Jensen?”
Jared nodded, suddenly sheepish, but somewhat glad he got it out.
“Hell, no. Boy’s way too pretty for me.” Steve looked offended, before smirking. “You two are a much better match.”
“Who’s a better match?”
“You and Chris. Sit down, nosy bastard,” Steve said, not even missing a beat.
Jared stared into his coffee, heat rising in his cheeks again.
“Ugh, like hell,” Jensen complained and Jared glanced up just in time to see Jensen pull a face. “Wait, better match than who?”
“Whom,” Steve corrected quietly. Jensen rolled his eyes.
“So?” he looked from Steve to Jared who still pretended that his coffee was fascinating.
“Let it go,” Steve said with a little huff and slump of shoulder, shutting Jensen up. And maybe it wasn’t fair that Steve played the heartbroken card but right now Jared was glad for it.
IV.
They all sat together on the couch, Jared sandwiched between Jensen and Steve, who merely watched them play Madden and listened to their banter with a soft smile, even though they did offer to let him play too. Steve had waved at that, shook his head for emphasis and leaned back. He seemed content, Jared thought, so he focussed on kicking Jensen’s ass. This was nice, he thought.
They had ordered pizza before, arguing over the toppings until finally getting two pizzas. Jensen had joked that Jared would end up eating one and a half anyway and Jared had slapped Jensen upside the head in mock annoyance. When the pizza arrived, Jared ate one and the two pieces neither Jensen nor Steve wanted. He also was on a winning streak and Steve was whooping for him until Jensen turned around and asked whose fucking side he was on and who was the friend Steve knew for more than a couple of days and hence the better friend.
Jared grinned as they mock shouted about dishes not done, Steve’s natural avoidance of cleaning with bleach, Jensen’s inability to get certain stains out of laundry and Jared did not dare ask what stains, whereas Steve was the laundry God, and general mayhem at their house when they actually lived there together. They finally settled again before Jensen picked another mock fight about the game, this time with Jared, who wasn’t as good at mock fighting because he couldn’t keep a straight face.
Somewhere around their third or fourth beer, Steve’s mobile started ringing.
“Dude, you have a Kane song as your ring tone?” Jensen pulled a face. “That’s just bad taste, man.”
“Shut up,” Steve said, laughing through the buzz of the alcohol and digging for his phone, fumbling because Jared leaned over until he squished Steve against the backrest and would not give him any room.
“Dude, you’re worse than Harley,” Steve gasped and Jared laughed.
“Seriously, a Kane song?” Jensen complained from the other end of the couch.
“I said, shut up, Jensen.” Steve finally managed to get the cell out of his pocket. He stared at the caller ID, laughter suddenly gone.
“What,” Jared said and sat back.
Steve only raised a hand, answering the call and standing up unsteadily. He walked a few steps, and Jensen put the TV on mute.
“What,” Jared said again, this time asking Jensen, who looked spooked.
“We should give him some space,” Jensen said and Jared nodded.
They went out into the yard, careful as not to slam the backdoor, taking the dogs along. Jared watched them play around for a while until he felt Jensen’s hand on his arm. He looked skywards, took a breath and reached for that hand, intertwining their fingers. He did not dare to look at Jensen now, just continued to look at the night sky, the stars. And this was nice, too, even better than having Jensen close on the couch with Steve around, because this was different.
“Jared?”
Jensen had not pulled away, Jared realized, and that was good, right? And he felt more than a little stupid, but right now that didn’t matter.
When he turned to look at Jensen, he found Jensen staring back at him, with that little smile. Jensen gave his hand a tug, and Jared leaned down a bit, waiting for Jensen to say something. And Jensen laughed a little, before leaning up and kissing him on the mouth. Just like that, like they had done that a million times before, standing outside, looking at the stars and kissing. Like it was nothing out of the ordinary, nothing that should made Jared’s head spin. And even though they hadn’t done this before, couldn’t have, even though the feeling of Jensen’s lips was new against his own, Jared felt as if this should be familiar after all despite the thrill. He broke the kiss, looked at Jensen and then kissed him again. Just to see if he could do it again, if it still was easy and soft and nice. It was. It felt like they should have been doing this all along. And Jensen laughed against his lips, breathless and sounding happy, so Jared wrapped his arms around him, pulling him close.
“We should get back in,” Jensen said, not moving a muscle.
“Yeah.” Jared hated to break the contact, but Jensen pulled him in for another kiss and he knew it wasn’t going to be their last, so where was the rush? He smiled at Jensen, pulling him towards the door.
Steve was on the couch again, the mobile on the coffee table. He did not quite manage to replace the look he had when Jared came in, plastering on a smile that was too toothy and did not reach his eyes.
“How bout I trade you that god awful ring tone against a decent one,” Jared said.
Jared ended up trading Spirit Boy against Bubbly, which seemed poetic in its brilliance or maybe just to their drunken minds, but Steve actually giggled about it and Jared was pleased as punch at that. Jensen laughed too, settling in against Jared as close as he could. Jared ended up assigning the traded tone to Jensen’s number, just to piss him off.
V.
“You’re leaving?”
Jared wasn’t able to hide his surprise when Steve told him.
“Man, I’ve been here for almost a week now, and you boys need some room,” Steve smirked a little.
And yes, a little space would be nice, because their kisses turned from nice to needy in no time and both felt a certain reluctance to let it go further with Steve around, hell, with Steve in the next room, but still, it was not like Jared wanted to actually tell him, not like he actually minded him. And he definitely did not want to throw him out.
“Yeah, but I will miss our breakfast talks.”
“I think you’ll manage without. Did you tell him?”
Jared shook his head. Whether to the question or the statement, he did not know. He tried to find another sentence, preferably starting with “but,” yet none came. Steve looked at him, head slightly to the right, waiting. Jared pulled him into a hug.
“I will miss you too,” Steve said quietly against his chest, “Thanks, man.”
Steve padded him on the back and there were things Jared wanted to say. About the little shoves into the right direction, into any direction, now that he thought about it. About the way things cleared up. But he knew Steve would wave it off as if it would have happened nevertheless, even without him. Which wasn’t true.
“You need anything, you call, right?” Jared finally said and released him.
Steve nodded, bending down to pad the dogs. Straightening up again, he looked Jared in the eyes.
“Be good to Jensen,” Steve said grinning, “Tell him. It’s good to hear.”
“Yeah, as soon as you release him from cab duty and he’s back from the airport.”
Jensen came in then, looking at them.
“What? Airport? Don’t tell me you’re leaving.” Jensen let out an undignified squeak when Steve nodded. “No way, man.”
“Flight’s in three. I tried to persuade him, Jen,” Jared said.
They stood around with their arms at their sides. Jared wanted to break the silence but didn’t know how. Jensen finally hugged Steve tight. Words were not needed right now anyway.
“We better get going,” Jensen said reluctantly.
They all mumbled good byes, promises of keeping in touch. There was no need for packing as Steve had already stuffed everything he brought into his small backpack. Jared went up to the door, waving even though they didn’t even make it to the car yet and trying to keep the dogs inside who wanted to see what was going on and were currently gently whining and pressing against his legs. Jensen turned and came back to the door, to Jared.
“Forgot something?”
Jensen leaned in and kissed Jared lightly.
“Didn’t say properly good bye to you.”
“You’re an ass. You’ll be back in an hour, sappy fuck.”
“Still.”
“I love you.”
Jensen blinked at that before grinning. It was so much easier than Jared had imagined and the result was beautiful. He grinned and waved over to Steve, who waved back.
“See you in an hour,” Jared said.
He waited until the car was out of sight before getting back inside.
